WTF?!?!?!?!?

Why me? What the hell did I do to be put in this place? She's HOT! Fucking HOT!!! Legs that go from her ankles all the way to her mmmmmmm. An awesome ass that I would love to grab and ever let go. And tits. DAMN! I fucking love her tits! Tonight she stood on a picnic table and placed her arms around me and they were the perfect height to dive into with my face. I even told her so.....and she giggled and there was this thing.......between us.....ya know? This thing that said if I wasn't married to her best friend then she would let me play motorboats and a whole lot more. Yes, thats right. I'm married to her best friend. Have been for the last 9 years. And it has killed me every single fricken time we have gone out with her. She used to be married to a guy that treated her like shit. So I know alot of her past and she deserves WAY better. She's the type of girl that turns heads when she gets dolled up to go out. She isn't a skinny mini but is very well proportioned and can still pull off a mini skirt and tight top which gets me sooooo fucking turned on!!!!!! We flirt because we are both that kind of person....flirty almost to the point of getting into trouble. She's not scared of showing a little bit of this and a lot of that around me and it drives me up the fucking wall!!!!! I am to the point where going out with her is a love hate thing. I love the fact that we flirt and can get on like that but on the other hand hate the fact that I know that I'm married to her best friend and, women being women, it will never go any farther than that because she is her best friend. So may times we have all gone out together and she has worn something very hot and I have bashed my head against the wall all night long because I catch a glimpse of this or a peek at that and it drives me wild! Ya, I know. Like I said. I'm married. To a great lady for sure. Cuz if not then I would have been able to stay separated from her 2 years ago. But we got back together and for whatever reason I can't split from her again. Lord knows I've thought it all through over and over. Not just to be with "her". But just in general. I honestly don't think that if we were to get together we would last very long for we both know each other very well and we aren't made for each other over the long term. But short term? Bootty calls? Damn! Talk about waking the neighbors and making the dog hide under the bed! Thats one of the shitty parts of knowing her like I do. I know what she likes and is like in bed and everything about that is what I want to do with her! But I'm stuck here being her best friends husband....and there is nothing that I know of that I can do about it that will make things easier on me. Other than either leaving the fun early because she is the only thing on my mind or not going out at all. And I'm sure that when I do either I make my wife upset and wonder why I can't either stay out or come out at all. Why me?